Knowing

By Dory

My best friend used to tell me that you ‘just know’ when you’re in love with someone.

I used to roll my eyes at that until I did ‘just know’.

That’s not to say that I can pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with you.

But when you told me you loved me for the first time, you shut the cynic in me right up! 

You made me stop obsessing over the bizarre thought that this was all a ploy and you were going to make a gigantic fool out of me.

That’s not to say I don’t fixate on all the things that could go wrong, anymore.

But, with you, I do ‘just know’.

I ‘just know’ because I’ve shown you how petty I can be.

I ‘just know’ because you’ve seen the worst of me and stayed back. 

I ‘just know’ because you’ve become the first person I think of who can calm me when I’m a wreck (even though, sometimes you’ve caused that wreckage).

I ‘just know’ because you’re the first person I want to share all my happiness with whether it’s over acceptance of my internship application or a Butterbeer making workshop.

I ‘just know’ because you gave me the strength to be vulnerable.

I ‘just know’ because sometimes all I want is to cuddle with you all day long.

I ‘just know’ because you made me trust you so effortlessly and in no time at all.

I ‘just know’ because when you’re in the room, I have eyes only for you.

I ‘just know’ because I’ve realised how foolish my ‘checklist’ comprising of arbitrary standards of attractiveness was.

I ‘just know’ because when I was having a concussion after my accident, you were the one I kept calling out for even though you were miles away.

I ‘just know’ because you made me believe in something as elusive as love.

I ‘just know’ because even though there’s no guarantee of a future, I’ve given you my all and I don’t regret any of it.

I ‘just know’ because you make me want to write about you, about our relationship and about love.

I ‘just know’ because what I feel for you is something so strong and wonderful and joyous and all-encompassing that it can’t be anything but love.

I knew I loved you then, I know I love you now and I know there will always be a part of me that'll love you for the rest of my life.

And, I know how sappy and cheesy all of this sounds, believe me I do (I want to punch myself for writing this).

But, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Falling in love is one of those feelings which people try their damnedest to define but no one does justice to it.

You ‘just know’ when it happens.

As simple and as complicated as that.