Parenting the Parent

By Amrita Kumar

No one prepared me to perform a role reversal of life’s most important relationship.
Parenting the parent, is an emotional roller coaster ride I never wanted to buy the ticket for.
As my parents age,
a silent but obvious role reversal has ensued,
as they retreat into a world of oblivion,
I’ve entered into a state of daily panic.
Are they forgetting a lot?
Are they breathing ok?
Are they sleeping too much?
Recently, my father’s lung disease reared its ugly face,
He landed in the ICU,
I was once again reminded of the finitude of his existence.
But life has a way of normalising one’s pain,
‘learning to get by’ becomes the default coping mechanism.
I now spend my days casually trapezing into my father’s hospital room,
to check if he’s breathing and at ease,
I then twirl like a ballerina,
to rejoice the miracle of life.
Is there a lesson here? or just a story of a daughter’s grief?
With each passing day, I learn that living life is a privilege in itself.
I’ve learnt that, while those I love will eventually pass,
nurturing and truly experiencing my relationships in the moment,
is the only control life will ever grant,
for tomorrow is guaranteed to no one.