If I (Never) Live The Dream

By Atreyi Bhattacharya

In the sunset filtered dawn, I see it, truly
Everything I could ever be
The dusk flowers I had forgone
And the forgotten things I wrote down in hopes of something, I never knew what
Perhaps, a greater understanding of the coalition of disaster that ended up being my one and most gravely unholy burden
Or maybe just a mess of the things I envision right before I sleep,
And the memories that I keep locked away behind golden gates I can never seem to leap over
But that break down all my doors like prison guards to tell me that my quest for glory is all just a cover
And that the winds that the mountains spray onto my face are nothing but a sign from the most powerful that I am simply stuck in this place
And that I will never manage to break free of the shackles they put on my mother and father before me
That I am condemned to repeat history, until finally, like a dove, one day, someone may just break free
And I am told, that its all for the greater good
And that my life isn’t as dreadful as I think it looks,
But everything they say is acid in my ears that eats away at my subconscious’ greatest fears
That tears away just a bit more of what I think I can do
If I should stay, and follow a noble occupation
And never show up late, bound to my station and place
Will I ever manage to make anyone remember my name?
And if I do choose to run away,
If I choose to live the dream,
Will I ever even wake up?
Will they all chant from the city walls for me to give up?
And would I be able to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders?
To be a monolith of breaking free from the controllers?
And I watch the waves crash against the shore, and I wish again and again I knew what's in store
But I must remain, writing down what I would never have the guts to say
Remind myself that I am a momentary glimpse of cosmic love
That I am just a blur of the thousands before and the thousands after,
And I sit there, watching the world while away because if they only live once,
It's worth it to see the dawn at least once a day.


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