SEARCH OF A PLACE BETTER THAN EMPTINESS

By- Tanishi Jaiswal

  Loneliness is a feeling difficult to express,

Others may thing that your life is a mess and full of stress,

But in real loneliness is an emotion; is a phase,

When you experience it you will not be amazed.

 

Youngsters hangout, go out for dates and parties and I spend my time alone, reading a novel in my room.

If one of them see me like this they will find me as a doom.

They don't know the feeling that I feel,

They don't know my problems and how I deal.

 

Finally one day I decided to break this loneliness and interact with other people.

I was nervous, because this sudden change was not simple.

I wanted to explore something new, so I decided to try at least.

 

I went for a school reunion, many boys and girls were having fun and enjoying the feast.

I entered with a bright smile on my face,

Because I was confident that this time I will ace.

I met my classmates they were surprised to see me because I looked different.

In midst of music, drinks and young people I was still looking for real contentment.

I was surrounded by many people, some were my friends and some were acquaintances.

 

There was a guy with whom I exchanged glances.

And Flashes started coming in my mind,

Although he was a past that I have left behind.

He made me believe in friendship and love,

In my priority list he was always above.

He was not only a lover but also my best friend

But this love story had a painful end.

He was the one who made me feel so lonely, when he left me.

 

Living with a broken heart was not easy.

He broke my trust, he had no feeling of love but only lust.

He was the one who cheated;

I felt my emotions have been defeated.

 

To trust someone again became difficult for me and so I separated myself from everyone,

And lived a lonely life which had no enjoyment or fun.

I decided to separate myself from loneliness,

I wanted to find a place better than this emptiness.

 

I interacted with many people and had fun,

Because I wanted to show that I have changed and I am not the same one.

Many people liked the new me, and my past was jealous from my present;

But still I had a feeling of discontent.

 

Finally the DJ played a romantic song,

All the high school sweethearts danced along.

 

I was standing there alone for a while and tried to keep up my smile.

I felt unrest that nests a hollowness for I had no where to go;

I was lost in my thoughts and started to feel low.

Amidst everyone, the same feelings developed of loneliness,

 

But still I am in search of a place better than this emptiness.

 

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This poem has been published in the book 'The Last Flower Of Spring'. Buy the paperback copy on Amazon: https://tinyurl.com/y9sydnxn

 


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