By Gayatri Aich
And as I listen to him talk,
About how much he loves Derek -
I wonder where this is going,
And how his heart is going to break.
I watch him stare at Derek,
From across the room and the garden,
I watch him losing control,
Watching girls kiss the man he loves -
The man he loves and fantasizes about,
The one he wants to make love to,
The man who doesn't even know,
The man who'll never know.
I watch my friend's heart shatter,
Every time he breaks down -
For the way he is,
For the way he is different,
For the way he is lonely,
For the way he waits for Derek.
He's someone who's made fun of at school,
And by the man he loves too.
Why do they have to tell us all -
Whom to love and how to live? Why does he have to follow the rules Made by people who do not even understand him?
Why can't he just go and tell Derek?
Why can't he come out of the trap he's in?
Why can't he go on and tell everyone?
Why can't he love the way he is?
And there comes a day -
When he's tired of it all.
Of staying locked up in a room for the past twenty years.
He comes out and tells me "This is the day -
When I tell them all,
And that they cannot change my colours,
Or who I am."
But that was the last time he spoke to me,
The last time I saw my friend
And the colours he talked about were spilled on a paper in the form of ink and words,
Which he wrote before ending his life -
His miserable life.