Dreams Don't Die Pretty Deaths

Dreams don't die pretty deaths
they burn in a self-loathing so intense 
that you can feel it spark off
from the edge of your fingertips , like milk 
left simmering on the stove for far too long 
until it spills over into a strange and
sour smelling curdle , allow it enough 
time to cool and it settles in a ball 
of hate in the pit of your stomach, I wish 
this uneasy anxiety,  this restless feeling 
of castastrophy that is just waiting 
for you to open your doors would find 
itself a new address,  I am tired of it 
returning right back here when the sky
darkens , each time I ask of it to pack
its bags and leave .They say grief 
progresses in five stages , denial , anger
bargaining,  depression,  acceptance , 
but my grief refuses to slip smoothly 
from one stage to another , instead it
is a shape shifter , a dementor this day , 
almost ready to accept the Blue and 
move on the next , it is a stubborn child , 
a parasite , whose survival depends 
upon sucking me dry. 
To be completely honest I wish this could've been a happy poem,  a we-will-get-through-this
-Sad-and-be-alright poem , a we-are-going
to-be-fine the world is-not-crashing-and-
collapsing poem , a poem where I could've 
told you with complete assurance and 
maybe a mild amount of satisfaction 
that although your grief may seem like 
the grave of a newborn child , but hey , 
flowers bloom in graveyards too , 
but I am sorry , 
I do not know 
I do not know 
my grief is a shape shifter 
too many questions and no correct answers 
or too many answers and no correct questions ,
my grief is a painting set aflame 
I leave it undone the way I leave everything else 
sometimes , in the hope , that it will resolve 
itself , sometimes , in the hope , that 
when I wake up tommorow , 
I will find better ways 
to do it all over again.
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This poem won in Instagram Weekly Contest held by @delhipoetryslam on the theme 'Trauma' 
 

5 comments

  • I like the style of expressing poem with vivid emotions.

    Gargi
  • Amazing!

    Sayali Parkar
  • Deep thoughts

    Nandink Kaushik
  • Absolutely beautiful

    Heena Joon
  • This is so profound and beautiful :’)

    Sukanya

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