How Much

Jaisel Gaurav

I get up, already woken up by my thoughts
It's 2 AM and I can't contain my love
Has it ever happened, you feel so much all at once, that it blooms as a tight knot in the chest
Only to be growing bigger, tighter, you ache, everywhere because love goes through you
It's vast, you can't contain it
You can't contain your love and it is flowing everywhere
Beware, before it burns you down, the might of doing which it holds
A ray of sunshine passes through you tearing you apart
You float as it destroys you, until you burst into tiny little specks, Of glitter?
I don't know for it might unleash a storm and pull me into it- casting a spell on me; I'm helpless
It could make me love you a little more
Doesn't this happen everyday, though?
I close my eyes, I see you
I laugh to myself
How you think you cannot be loved when you've no idea
How much I already love you
And how much I'm ready to give you more
How your gleaming eyes brighten up my day
How your calming voice holds sway over me
How your single smile makes me feel things everywhere, I'm captivated
How desperately I want to plant flowers
In every breath you take and make a garden of your soul
To which I tend personally, petal by petal
Embracing all your details, Oh you've no idea
I don't see you everyday
But oh I see you- Imagination is a bliss sometimes
And sometimes it's just a curse, making me go through all the things I cannot have
False hopes, perfect dialogues for you to say
But you don't, you won't
The kind of torture that leaves you with a longing
You're my drug and your thoughts are the redemption
From the withdrawal symptoms I get when we don't talk, It's okay
I'm used to it now
But then you leave your scent once in a while and it keeps lingering in my mind
I take a whiff and it's there even now, making me write about how much I want to love you
And I will secretly, in my mind, Shh you're not supposed to know that
It's 2:30 in the night, I'm up and I can't contain my love for you

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