Doomed

By Aida

 

The first time I saw him
I felt nothing
There wasn't any static electricity in the air between us
My heart didn't skip a beat
Violins didn't play in the background
The world didn't cease 
The first time I saw him
He whistled an unknown tune and walked by
The second time I saw him, I felt nothing. Again.
My eyes danced across his face and my brain cataloged his features
Skin, pale and milky; eyes, round; nose, disproportionate; lips, thin
I was disappointed cause it wasn't playing out like a movie
The second time I saw him
My throat didn't constrict and my heart didn't explode
And the pause before and after wasn't a cataclysmic pause at all 
As he walked by 
The third time I saw him
I felt... I guess you already know
But the third time was the first time my lips were acquainted with his name
In that moment, his name was just another name in the swarms of names
It didn't unsettle me or expand my chest like an elastic band between my finger-tips
The fourth time, the fifth time, hundred other times that I saw you
There was nothing
A hug was a hug, a smile was a smile, a touch was a touch
They weren't metaphors or analogies for the universe forming after Big Bang
Until one day, they were
Until one day when I saw him
And my lungs couldn't get enough air, my heart couldn't pump blood faster
My mind couldn't fight dizziness, my stomach couldn't hold the butterflies
All of a sudden, his eyes transformed into sparkling diamonds
His touch the softest feather
His smiles like spring 
His voice warm and honey colored  
And maybe it was the way he laughed or the way he sang 'Better man' 
Or the way he took my hand when I was at the Hospital
Or because that unknown tune became my favorite 
All I could fathom was when I saw him the nth time
I felt, no, I knew I was doomed

 

 

 

 



2 comments

  • Amazing! Please check out my blog https://mycaffeinediaries.wordpress.com/ it will mean a lot :’)

    Riya Singh
  • Did he sing it well? Better Man?
    Loved your poem <3

    Brishti

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